For Colored Girls Who Considered (or Reconsidered) the Creamy Crack When the Afro Wasn’t Enough…

This topic came to me a long time ago and I have been racking my brain ever since to figure out how to express it.  I had this idea to have a gathering about it or a workshop where I got a group of sisters together to discuss the title and what is says to them.  In my head the discussion would be more about hair and self esteem and our perception of the afro.  What is it with black girls and their hair anyway!?

I guess it all starts with my own natural hair story.  My transitioning process began long before I stopped relaxing my hair.  In fact it started back in 1996 when my sister met one of her best buds in college who happened to stop relaxing her hair in high school.  Her hair was long, healthy and beautiful.  A couple of years later in 1998 my sister decided to transition as well began bugging me about giving up the creamy crack!  I was like “Huh Uh!  I ain’t doin’ that!” but then somewhere along the way my mind changed.  I really can’t pinpoint what changed and how it changed but it just did.  I started thinking about how laborious it was to relax my hair and how expensive it was to go to the salon to have it done only to have to repeat the process of having to do it all over again 6 weeks later.  I began to resent the process and decided that as long as I can pull my hair back into a ponytail and smooth the edges that I was not going to relax it.  Now it is 3 years later and I still am able to smooth my edges.

I have nothing against relaxers.  I just don’t like the fact that it is temporary and high maintenance is expensive.  Don’t get me wrong, natural hair is VERY high maintenance and can be just as expensive if you become a product junky.  But I have learned how to manage my hair without all of those high cost products that only seem to clutter up my cabinets.  I am in PJ recovery LOL!  But with all the frustrations and ups and downs I have experienced I still have not gone back to the creamy crack.  Now I have thought about it…several times…but I am satisfied with my hair and the texture that it is.

But I do wonder when I hear about others that go back and their reasoning for why they do.  Why do people do it?  They begin or go through the transitioning process only to go back to relaxing their hair.  I know there are some of my sisters that like being versatile with their hair.  But what about the others, the ones that started the process with such determination only to return to relaxing their hair.  I can’t help to think about the social stigma that is associated to natural hair and how this somehow could be connected to self esteem.  Is our perception of who we are and how we look connected to how others see our hair?  Is it that we don’t feel pretty with natural hair?  This subject has me wanting to have an open dialog about this subject.  What do you think?

It is well...

I find myself at a crossroad once again.  In life we come to them often.  Sometimes the route to choose is easy and others are hard.  Well it looks like I am there again and once again I am scared to move.  Yes I admit it!  I am SCARED! 

Scared of making another wrong decision!
Scared of what others may think!
Scared to stay and scared to go!

I know what I want to do...but is it the right decision?  As will all other crossroad experiences all I can do is PRAY!  In past experiences I have let go and God has pointed me in the right direction.  Well I thought this was the direction he wanted me in but guess what I was wrong.  Sometimes the easy road is not God's answer.  Of course I should have known that but fear can cloud your judgment and clog the ears.  But my instincts kept telling me that something was not right.  I asked God to open my eyes to some things and show me some things.  What I didn't bargain for was that I would not be prepared for what I found out or the consequences of knowing...

The hardest thing to do is to trust God and your instincts.  After all I do believe it is the Holy Spirit that is guiding my instincts anyway.  The problem is I keep getting my will mixed up with what His.  Right now all I can do is ask for forgiveness and make it right somehow. 

Once again it is time to LET GO AND LET GOD! 

40 and Fabulous!!!

Yes I turned 40 this year...I don't feel like it though!  I don't know what I was expecting.  Once it hit me I was a little nervous then I came to the conclusion that I am officially grown.  I am more secure in who I am than I've ever been in my life.  My perspective on life has evolved.  I am able to take an objective view of things and how life can be...if you recognize and work at it!

I was thinking this morning about the current goals I want to work toward for the rest of the year.  After thinking about it I could only come with two:

1. Lose Weight/Feel Great!
2. Build Business/Pursue Self Employment.

I know as I move forward there will be more things to work on but I think this is plenty at the moment.  Looking forward to sharing my experiences along the way.  Stay tuned!

1 Month Down! 11 to go!!!

January has been an interesting month!  Had a good month at work and looking forward to turning the BIG FOUR OH in March.  Not much to report but just wanted to check in and post a couple of points I already see for 2012:

1. An increased need to PUSH (Pray Until Something Happens) while putting actions to words...
2. This spring is going to be a new beginning...
3. And starting this darn diet over is going to be a BEAST!

Wish me luck on all 3 ;-)

Happy New Year 2012!!!

Just a quick hello to say Happy New Year!  I am so glad to see another year.  My goals for this year is to be more positive, be proactive, and be the best me I can be.  With that being said...

I really want to concentrate on how I approach live and interact with the world around me.  I desire to only focus on things that are good for me.  If that means cutting things (or people) out of my life to be able to do that then so be it.  As I get older I am definitely more concerned with quality over quantity.  Bigger (and flashy) is not always better.  I have nothing to prove to anyone but myself anyway. 

My hopes for this new year is that I continue to grow and experience life with a light heart and positive attitude.  As a great person once said, "Your ATTITUDE determines your ALTITUDE!"  Therefore I will purpose to reach to new heights in every area in my life and I encourage all the eyes that read this do the same.  Be blessed!

Working it out! (Or should I say on my way to it lol!)

Okay so it's been a minute and I have to admit...I've only been focusing on my hair and not on my weight loss but that is gonna change real soon.  I gonna do SOMETHING.  I guess the first thing is going back to the gym.  Not feeling it but I have to do it.  My body is aching and I think I am truly at my heaviest weight in all of my life!  :-O

But as we all know...we change when we start taking action!!!  So there is no more talking about it.  I gotta be about it!!!  About to make a plan and go for it!  Wish me luck!  :-D

Can you believe the year is half over!?!?

Wew! This has been a busy summer! I have been all over the world and back again and I enjoyed every minute of it! From the Bahamas to New Orleans and back again I have had a ball! After the traveling dust has settled, I still have a lot to work on and I am still in my process of finding my way to grow in every area of my life. So far I've gone back and forth on my hair and weight loss efforts and I am still stagnant in both areas. But I have a plan...


As I type I'm deep conditioning my hair and the decision (for now lol) is to utilize twists/twistout regime until I start seeing the growth that I am looking for.


As for weight loss, I was instructed by my doctor to give the low carb method another try so I am in the process of looking at a modified version that is not too restrictive and easy to follow along with an exercise program. By the way I haven't been to the gym in months (that's gotta change!)


As for my career...I'm looking at a move soon if all goes well. Once I know more I will blog all about it and my next move regarding professional and financial development.


It is apparent that I have to be a woman with a plan to keep it all together. I haven't done well with that so far this year. Which brings me to the realization that this year is over half over!!! only 5 months til Christmas!! :-o


Oh well...I am determined to strive to achieve my goals the second half of the year as I look toward my 40th birthday. I am remaining positive and optimistic as I work on being the best me i can be.


Until next time folks...Toodles!!


Kiki S.